100th Post! Wait, What?

i knew there was a reason i was going to try and make something fancy or such for this post. i can't believe i've posted 100 different entries. it's been over a year, but hey, i guess that's something. i've also got almost 1000 page views!

....probably all from the same two people, but whatever. it's kind of exciting.

now i am sure you are probably wondering, what is with the farm decor on the popsicle sticks? well, i am pretty sure that i mentioned i was going away for the weekend to help out with a birthday party. i'm pretty sure i did. if not, then that's why.

saturday heather and i (along with a few others) took a 3-1/2 hour trip north for her niece's birthday party, since she is in charge of decorations and party planning. at least for the last couple. she turned two this weekend.

i was in a place that i could pretty much throw a rock at canada and almost hit it. it was a long drive, but once you got to the area it was pretty and scenic. we stayed in a cabin for a couple nights since her moms house couldn't handle all of us. it was also very cold. cold and i don't really get along, so i lived in my hat and coat the entire weekend. we also were surrounded by deer.

this was sunday morning. i did not zoom in, and prior to walking to the car, there were about 5-10 more of them before they ran off. the restaurant that the cabins are rented from puts out hay bales, so there was never not a deer or small animal near by.  it was kind of cool. most of them would just stare and lick their faces. the others hid in the woods along the sides of the road.

the party was sunday afternoon, we had set up on saturday night. it was all western/cowgirl themed, there were a couple games for the few kids who came up, mostly just lots of food to be had, but it went off pretty well.

 this last one here was easily the best part. birthday girl decided she didn't need any presents or tissue paper, just a disney princess gift bag to wear, in which she immediately took off to the other side of the room with. heather made the little center pieces, got all the cow print garb from the internet, and i assembled the banner. she also made the birthday skirt/outfit. 

oh, i was also pelted with balloons.

not that anyone wants to see my face anymore, but you're going to anyway. we had to drive a half hour to the nearest town to get them filled, and i held them down in the back seat of a tiny hyundai accent. it smelled like latex and everything echoed.

snapchat was also my best friend for the whole weekend, wherever i could access wifi. there was no service at all where we were staying. once in a while my "e" service (emergency? idk) would come in, but that was about it. ron and i did snapchat video a couple times since i couldn't use real phone, it was pretty fun. we had lunch/partied (kind of) together.

our second night after the party, but before heading back, mike (her husband/my other boss) wanted to play pool so we stopped off at a local bar. it was deserted. we played a few games, even i did, and i am bad at all sports and games, and i drove us home, since they had a couple drinks (it is heather's birthday today! happy birthday to my other half). when i say i am bad, i mean bad. i was just pushing the balls around the table, heather put half of them in the pockets for me. the one i managed to sink was pretty epic. the cue ball and one of mine were perfectly lined up, like an impossible shot to miss. really close to the corner pocket and everything. i got this? how about i jump the cue ball into the pocket, and completely miss the one that needed to go in there.

i did play a second game though, and somehow managed to win against mike. i don't even know how it happened. ghosts? unbalanced table? no idea.

and how about this asshole? because someone has to make an appearance. i took some pictures of him and posted on his facebook for heather's birthday, since i don't use mine anymore. his friends are the few of my friends that might actually talk to me still, so we can share for now. he's such a dick though. i was sitting in the window and some people came outside from the apartment across from us and he started freaking out. they do this little "dance," for lack of better words, where he holds his wings out a little, dilates his eyes and fans his tail, kind of like, "come at me, bro," when he gets offended or upset. in cosmo's case, he whistles too. and vibrates. because what isn't menacing about a vibrating parrot?

well, i'm hoping to have something for wednesday or so. thursday and friday i work doubles, and this sunday is easter. we are going to stay home this year. things are just......ehh. i don't really want to think about things much. last week was a hardcore emotional rollercoaster. i just know that there will be some big changes if we can swing it in the next year or so. in the mean time, i am gonna snuggle this guy so hard tonight, because i am cold, and haven't seen him all weekend and he had to work after i got home.

stay tuned, loyal viewers, and thanks for reading in the past. i promise i will bring you more treats and recipes this year, more crafts and art (etc) in the next hundred, and hopefully more! by the way, go get yourself a frappucino. apparently its their 20th anniversary today. happy fappucino day! (and yes, i said that on purpose. maybe a story for another time, right kris?)

happy week all! thanks again ♥☻☺☻☺☺☻♥

Cookies....Derpy Cookies

"you can't please everyone.

you aren't a jar of nutella."

i might use these as my new words to live by for a little while, because, true story bro, as awesome as i am, i am not a jar of nutella. i can't please everyone. i try, but only end up feeling sub par sometimes.

kind of like my scary cookies.

it seemed like a good idea to put reeses pieces in them, but the color melted off and they look kind of derpy. i bet all of those places that get the pictures of their baked goods to look perfect poke them into the top of the cookies at the last minute. like, as they're coming out of the oven so they don't melt and look like crap like mine do. jerks. i've been in a cookie mood lately. i guess maybe because once they are done, they're convenient to just grab a couple.

i took my basic chocolate chip cookie recipe from allrecipes and experimented a little bit. i did not add the pudding, but subbed out a half cup of butter for vanilla greek yogurt. the yogurt gave them that extra moisture the pudding usually lends, so they came out pretty good. they are not overwhelmingly sweet, either. oh, and i used half whole wheat flour, and half all purpose. go, me!

i also made this strawberry banana bread, but it looks even more frightening than these cookies. it smelled pretty good. i had some bananas i was trying to use up, and instead of putting the right amount in, i used some extra, so it got really squishy, and i wasn't sure if it was done all the way. meh. off week. that's all i got for now.

i will be gone this weekend with heather for her niece's birthday party. i went with her last year to help set up and take care of things. i am leaving saturday and coming home monday. might bring the tablet, but i'm not sure yet. we'll see how things go. i haven't really done much this week other than work a whole bunch, so i don't have anything good, other than scary cookies to show. i might not have anything next week, either, since i will be gone on my usual days off, and am working the rest of the week. so, sunday maybe i will post some pictures, and try to aim to have a little something for wednesday, but who knows. in the mean time, thanks for checking in. go make these chocolate chip cookies, too, by the way, whether or not you make some healthy substitutions like i did is completely up to you. they're awesome! thanks for reading! ♥

Nothing Much Today, Sadly. Quick Post.

is there a way to make it so you won't trust someone ever again? to stop being able to trust anything someone says? i am not sure if that makes sense at all. i do know that i am too trusting, and it gets me absolutely nowhere.

i am also too nice, which continues to get me nowhere. the only place it gets me, is either in trouble, or walked all over, and lately, i am pretty sure i have the word "welcome" embroidered across my forehead.

what's even more sad, is that my own family has struck against me, has continued to do so, no matter what i do in return for them. sure, i may not be around much, but that doesn't mean i dont care. they said it themselves....we all have our own lives. but some things are important, should be discussed together, and things like that. instead, i am always last to hear anything, and everything is done without my knowledge. for example, i was keeping my mr2 at home, was told it was "abandoned," and it would be towed. ron and i tried everything to get down there and get it, but weather and work prevented that, and they have broken what little i had left in me to make an effort. apparently, i am also not allowed home, ever again.

i am done.

i am at a complete loss for words. i am sad. depressed. angry. what have i ever done to deserve these things? have i done something to make them hate me? i dont ask for much. i try to help out when possible. i always try to be the good kid. it all feels completely pointless. all for nothing.

i still have a few boxes left, i wonder if there is a way for me to get my things. i want out of here. i always talk about wanting to move south, or anywhere in general. i think i have made my decision, and within the next year or so, i want to be gone. i want to leave everything behind, because i don't know how much more of this i can take. i thought things were just finally getting somewhere, and then i get slapped for nothing.

*sigh* i dont know. its one loss after another. one worry stacked on top of another. i don't want to be stressed and depressed the way i was before. i don't want to hurt anymore. logic and reason aren't always the answer. if you are reading this, thank you for teaching me one final lesson: you can't, and shouldn't, trust or rely on anyone, not even your own blood. ESPECIALLY not family.

i feel like i have to re-evaluate my life. this post is only a small sample of things that have happened. i suppose i should be thankful that my credit wasn't ruined by someone giving away my social security number to let someone else ruin everything for me. oh, but i helped fix a situation like that, and look where it landed me. cool, right?

i shouldn't be so negative. it is partially how i got to my dark place last time. at least i have one good thing, and he is sitting here with me while i type, playing some games on ps4. i will admit things got scary for a while, but now, everything couldn't be better. the only thing that will be better is when we get the fuck out of this town. he actually just treated me to melting pot last night. ♥♥♥

ron met me at work last night when i was getting out. we were supposed to go to a party, but in the end decided not to, but i got this little surprise out of it anyway. he came in, all dressed up, and it was really great. he brought a dress for me to wear, so i changed in the back seat while we were driving to carousel mall, or destiny as you young'ns might call it. (by the way, totally pantless trying to pull on stockings as we drove alongside a centro bus. go me.) we finally arrived at the mall, and i had to hike a mile in heels. carousel is a scary place on a saturday, it is super busy there. also,  i don't know how to girl, so me in heels is apparently pretty hilarious. we went in and made our reservation, and then went to a shoe store so i could get some flats so i didn't have to struggle. that took almost the whole 45 minutes alone, so by the time we made it back, they were just about to notify us that a table was ready. it was a pretty eventful night, there were a few snafu's that happened, but the staff was super awesome regardless. even with minor situations, it was a great evening. ♥♥♥ 10/10, would go back for more cheese and chocolate.

so, i will leave it on that happy note. i am sorry i didnt have any pictures or treats today. this week will be busy as well, since i am helping heather with a birthday party this weekend, and working a whole bunch more. right? figures. i'll see if i can come up with anything wednesday, but i may not post until sunday this time. thanks for reading!

Irish Cream Macarons ♥

yay! i made some time to bake things tuesday!

also, my eyes are burning terribly as i type this. i bought bird seed today, went to put it away, and the dust blew up into my eyes. its so bad.

so anyway, to make this somewhat quick so i can try to fix my eyes...

here is the link to blahnik baker's website with the recipe for the macarons. i actually used a different base recipe, which i posted a while ago, but they come down to being about the same.

almost done.....!

they take a while to assemble, but they are totally worth it in the end.

they are so freakin adorable. i don't know why. i just want to eat them all up. quite literally.

i think they turned out really nice. the irish cream flavor is also not overwhelming, and the chocolate drizzle is a nice touch to go along with it.

i am not sure if i will have anything for sunday or not. i have a lot of hours to put in and things to do in the next few days.

in other news, it got a little warm on monday for a bit. of course, by the time we were able to do anything, it got cold again. or, maybe it was just the way green lakes is. ron and i tried to go for a walk.

♥♥love this face♥♥

it was fun, even though it was really cold. i cant wait for it to warm up enough that we can go out more. i want to walk, and maybe even run this year.

i am going to quit here, though. my eyes are still burning.

but....here is this sign i made for kristen's starbucks! hope they all like it! happy week, all!

Another Quick Update

as per usual, things got kind of busy over the weekend. i didn't have time to bake anything, but i have tomorrow off, and i plan to make my macarons! finally!

well, i have to go get the booze first. that's no big deal though.

 

in the mean time, here are some pictures of my son eating a grape, and poopsicle playing with cardboard. he likes boxes. not sure why, but he hides in them, and then destroys them. it keeps him quiet for a little while.

my face is weird.

also, here is this random picture ron took last night while we were waiting for our playstation to load gran turismo. we bought a second ps3 with the last of our taxes because our other one (for those who keep up with gaming and stuff, we have a 60gb original model ps3, and now have a slim 160gb) was starting to get a little picky. a few newer games it has had trouble loading, or they would turn off, or freeze because the system is eight years old. the replacement is a little newer and was remodeled slightly, so it should have no problem running anything. i might finally get to play ni no kuni for more than an hour or so....for those who don't know ni no kuni.....my hero, hayao miyazaki, director of many studio ghibli films, had a hand in this game. so yeah. super excited.

aaand guess what? after we made dinner tonight, i made more microwave brownies. it makes me happy that i can have warm, gooey brownies in less than ten minutes.

ohh yes. i'm pretty sure he won't admit it, but i think he was excited to decorate them. reeses pieces were flying though the kitchen. who doesn't love chocolate and peanut butter?

so yeah. last minute treats, even though i have posted these before for you, but here is the link again just in case you want to reminisce on this delightful five minute treat.

so.....macarons in the works for tomorrow. then, hopefully relaxing for the day. i am still not ready for the rest of the week, though i am pretty sure i will never be ready. enjoy the beginning of the week, all! thanks for reading!

Peppermint Meringues

ha! i finally did it! posting on a wednesday AND i finally forced myself to bake something!

....which took almost no effort at all. other than the effort of making an effort. i was severely demotivated yesterday after work and almost didn't do anything. but....i got up and made stuff. go me!

yes, i realize they aren't the fanciest of meringues, i am not sure if it was because i didn't whip them enough (they held stiff peaks), or my piping device (i did not have a pastry bag, but one of those pampered chef piping tubes? im not sure, but it's all plastic, so i'm guessing it was that). i also did not have any chocolate to melt, so i sprinkled a little hot cocoa powder on top of them, for a little hint of chocolate.

i always  forget how much i like meringues.  also, the fact that they take practically nothing to make. i just wish i either had some mini chocolate chips or some chocolate to melt to put on these.

here's what you need:

peppermint meringues

2 egg whites, room temperature*
1/2 c sugar
1 tsp peppermint extract
pinch cream of tartar
1 drop green food coloring
mini chocolate chips, or melting chocolate

*if you don't want to wait for your eggs to warm up, you can put them in a bowl of warm/hot water for 10-15 minutes! room temperature- like magic!

set your oven to about 200 F. line your baking sheets with parchment or silicone mats.

separate eggs, make sure there is no yolk in them at all, otherwise your whites will not whip up all nice and fluffy. use a clean, preferably metal or glass bowl. (plastic can sometimes absorb grease and fats, and that will also prevent your whites from being fluffy.)

whip the egg whites on medium high speed until foamy, then add your cream of tartar, extract, and food coloring. add sugar gradually, a tablespoon or so at a time. continue to whip on high speed until stiff peaks form.

pipe or spoon onto parchment. if you are using chocolate chips, sprinkle them on top of each meringue now. bake in oven for 80-90 minutes. turn off your oven and leave trays inside several hours to overnight. this will continue to dry the meringue and make a nice, crispy treat! some people leave their oven doors open a crack while cooling, i didn't. it's totally up to you. you can probably add more or less peppermint. i am also using my own peppermint extract (vodka with candy canes) so it may not be as strong as normal peppermint extract. oh! if you have melting chocolate, heat it gradually and dip one side of your meringue, then allow to harden.

i've been thinking of chocolate all day. i was thinking of making something, but i don't have any cocoa powder, chocolate chips, or anything, other than the hot cocoa mix, in my apartment. i probably don't need it anyway. trying to be healthy here. well, better, anyway. the snow and ice is finally starting to melt away, and once it stays somewhat warm, i want to start walking, and maybe even jogging. holy balls.

there are a lot of things i want to do. some are a little easier said than done. i am still on the look out for 2015 to be good to me. it's just been "meh" so far. i can't really explain it. a couple things are pretty good, while most others are....there. like, there is a presence, and i don't really know what to do sometimes. it seems like a good idea to run away, but i know i will have to figure it out, make up my mind, and start doing things eventually. i hope i can get there someday. maybe enough people will support me that i can get things under control and go for whatever it is i'm looking for.

for now, i can only see where things will lead me.

in other news, kris finally got her car fixed. it only took a couple trips around, but i think we finally got it this time. i think she is pretty happy to be able to go places again, without trying to figure out how to get there.

to celebrate, she took us out to dave and busters. none of us had ever been there before, so it was kind of cool. food was pretty good, i had the ultimate mac and cheese (aka, mac and cheese with chicken and bacon) and it was pretty awesome. we went around the arcade for a bit, where kris won like a million tickets, i played skee ball, ron played the arcade grid, and ryan watched. i tried racing ron, and was completely terrible at any driving game ever, except for rad racer on the nes, and burnout 3  on the ps2, because you actually get points for crashing into things. oh, and mario kart. kris and i played a round of mario kart together. ron and i also played some guitar hero, and decided we need to bring our games in from the garage. i totally played fruit ninja, too. i wonder if it is free on anything....there is totally a free version on my phone (i just checked).

while i was waiting on my meringues in the oven, i juiced a whole bunch of oranges (and other things) for ron. in the middle of running the juicer, something suddenly attached itsself to my head and scared the crap out of me.

lo and behold, firmly grasping my hair, was this asshole. he climbed onto my shoulder and was eyeballing everything. any time there was loud noise or i let him taste the juice or pieces of orange, his eyes went crazy. birds eyes kind of "dilate" when they get excited, it is called eye pinning. they actually have voluntary control over their eyes and can flash or dilate them at will. interesting crazy bird lady fact! #themoreyouknow

so after sampling half of the goods, i brought him back out to his house, cleaned, and then turned off the oven for my cookies. how exciting, right? i am still waiting for a day that i can make my irish cream macarons. i bought the almonds to make almond meal, i just need some more irish cream. i'll probably pick up something for st pattys day this weekend, too. ron really wants his irish dinner of corned beef and cabbage, so i'll probably hit up wegmans, and then make something else for dessert. that being said, maybe i'll have something else to post soon!

in the mean time, here is the fountain at the duck pond in town. this is only about a third of the ice wall that was surrounding it. the sun and temps in the 40's are doing their job. hurry up, spring! i wanna go outside!

thanks for reading! ☺

Slacker

i feel like i have been starting a lot of posts out like this recently.

i know i am a super slacker. i haven't baked anything in a couple weeks. at least not since the snickerdoodles, so maybe just a week then.

i haven't really been slacking, though. more that i have just been super busy. it kind of makes me tired. between working a whole bunch, and driving a whole bunch, (i think i mentioned kris's car was broken for a bit), it has worn me down a bit. not that i mind working and driving. i do feel like i want a little me time though, or like relax time. i passed out at like 9:45 one night.

look at this jackass, btw. ron was holding him one night and he looked absolutely miserable. it was wonderful. our cats may be assholes, but they pretty much let you do whatever you want to them. they are dumb.

needless to say, today's post will be short. like i said, i have just been working a whole bunch, and haven't really had time for much of anything. this week will probably not be much different, as i am working every day. its money, though, right?

i am, however, planning on a couple things to make. i have been thinking of pound cake lately, for some reason. i also have some sour cream to use up, so unless i find some other recipe that uses it, i might have a pound cake for you soon. also, courtesy of pinterest and the month of march, i really want to make these irish cream macarons. not only are macarons adorable, but i also happen to enjoy irish cream. it goes into one of my favorite beverages, the mudslide, and it usually smells pretty awesome.

i was also thinking about these chocolate mint meringues. meringues are awesome, and super delicious. they are almost as adorable as the macarons. maybe i will make them in a little bit. they are pretty easy, the only thing is that they take a while to hang out in the oven.

now that we are finally out of february, maybe we will have a chance to see some warmer weather. i guess it was a record cold month here in new york, it did not make it above 30 degrees for the entire month, and the average temperature was a balmy 9 degrees. i, for one, am done with the cold. we had a bout of sleet/freezing rain/death precipitation last week, where it was literally tiny ice balls falling from the sky and pelting you in the eyes. ice balls that sting. it did make these kind of neat icy geodes in my door handles, so despite how much i hated it, it made some things pretty. it was at night as well, so i couldnt get the best picture. it almost looks like a sno-cone.

then we have dis face. he was harassing kairi one day, being a typical bastard, eating all of kairi's food, so i picked him up and snuggled him. "poor baby" my butt. secretly, i bet he likes when i pick him up. he just doesn't want to admit it. by the way, my hair is long enough to barely pull back. i haven't cut it since june or something. not that it is super important, but just in case you wanted to know. it makes me have to be less lazy, like i have to shower more now because it's so long. i know, right? soooo frustrating.

alright, i am going to end it here today. maybe if i get anything done i will edit and post later, or just wait for wednesday and actually try to post on wednesday since i have missed two in a row.

oh! i almost forgot- i signed up for the insane inflatable 5k this year again! i am also waiting for the color run date to be announced for albany, because glitter. oh, and me attempting to get in shape, so i can actually be the part. i am kind of excited. it just needs to warm up a little more first.

thanks for reading! :)

Snickerdoodles, Yay!

you know it. missed wednesday again. things have just been all over the place. like, i cant really think straight sometimes.

work feels like.....surreal? i am not really sure. its not a good thing though. it is more stress than i need, thats for sure. i guess i always say that, though.

this time though.....i really feel like i hate my job to a whole new level. its not even because of numbers and crap this time. i am considering trading stores, if at all possible. it just super sucks when you have no communication and have no idea whats going on. also, when things dont get done. ALSO, when you only have three employees, so if you get sick, you have noone to cover, because noone knows how to hire anyone.

isnt it great?

but lets talk a little about these cookies. happy times!

i have been dying for snickerdoodles lately, and i have no idea why. maybe just because i was talking about them at work one day. maybe all of the random stuff on pinterest. there were these snickerdoodle cupcakes one day, snickerdoodle bars another day.....yeah, it was probably the internet.

i got these, however, from my big book of cookies. they are pretty easy to make up, although there is some chill time involved. i did a half recipe, but made them really big, so i only got like 20 cookies out of it.

snickerdoodles

1/2c butter
3/4c sugar
1 egg
1 1/4 plus 2 tbsp flour
1 tsp cream of tartar
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp nutmeg

1 tbsp granulated sugar plus 1 tbsp cinnamon to roll cookies in

combine butter, sugar and egg until fluffy. add remaining dry ingredients, minus the extra tablespoon of sugar and cinnamon, and mix well. refrigerate 1-2 hours.

once chilled, heat oven to 375F. use a small cookie scoop, or about one heaping tablespoon of dough and roll into balls. combine cinnamon and sugar, then roll cookies in mix before baking. space cookies about 2 inches apart, and bake 10-12 minutes.

i used whole wheat flour with mine, and it worked out pretty well. i added almost a quarter teaspoon of baking soda to make up for the weight of the whole wheat flour (since it is a little more dense than all purpose).

craving satisfied.

slightly crispy on the edges, soft in the middle. good end to the day.

not that it was a bad day to begin with. i was up really early. tried to relax a bit in the morning by zoning out on the internet. rons dad called because we are trying to figure out how to fix kristen's alternator. so, i was out early to try and find it, his dad came up to see if it was an easy fix, but cars are weird.

the frame and every other part (oil filter and pan, exhaust, etc), are all in the way, so it is very difficult to get to without a lift. we are hoping we can get someone to help.

after that, i went home, met with heather and ventured to the craft store for yarn and a frame. we picked kristen back up, since she was at home taking care of the sick boyfriend, and went to wegmans for lunch. spent a good two hours just talking about random things. mainly, that we would all like to register, hopefully by this weekend, for the inflatable 5k coming back to syracuse in september. we also talked about doing the color run, with their newly added event, the shine tour. on top of getting plastered with paint powder, you also get your face punched with glitter bombs.

getting covered with paint AND glitter? yep. sign me up. there should be one coming to buffalo, but i am hoping albany will be available as well, since that is a little closer. it is all about the waiting game, at this point. but....its something that will get me up and moving. not that i sit around much because i am always working, but i dont really exercise much.

anyway, i hope i can figure out something with work. it really sucks because i finally have paid vacation, and i want to quit again. maybe i can get out of the store and work at another one for a bit though, to see if that improves anything.

with that, i think im done for today. sorry for missing out again on wednesday. maybe i will have something this week for wednesday or thursday. i am going to try to sleep. thanks for reading!